last day of work

today is officially my last day of work. after today, i'm going on "switch off mode". earlier on my boss has agreed that i work from home, but now he avoid bringing this up becos of the few projects coming in and already in.

still i dun care. the first two wks, i'll probably work 2 - 3 days a week, the last 2 weeks i can't guarantee, cos i'll again busy running hospital to do preparation for my radio therapy.

unfortunately, i'm not able to spend my "last day" peacefully in the office, i went to plaza singapura to meet up the DSTA guys regarding our application running in some of the military institutions.

i was early, and i saw carrefour having books sales outside ps. i saw a book titled "Cancer on $5 a day" by alan eisenstock. it's the true story of the comedian robert schimmel, on "how humor got me through the toughest journey of my life". the book was selling at $8. when i paid at the cashier, i pointed at the big "$5" sign and asked the auntie, "can i buy at $5?" the auntie got a shock. hahaha.... singaporean not homourous at all...

after the meeting, i went into carrefour wanted to buy a clipper to trim my hair. yesterday my mum got a shock on my appearance, i think i really look very scary, so time to do something again... i didn't manage to find a decent one in carrefour ps. i recalled carrefour suntec sold many of these clippers, so i took the circle line to promenade. exiting the station, i ran into a friend of mine (who is oso reading this blog). when i saw her, it was too late for me to hide (the path was quite narrow). it all happened in split second. i was looking at her, she was talking to her friend but eyes looking in front, we were less than 2 metres away, then....

miraculously, she didn't notice me (or recognise me). good and bad. good thing is i'm not prepared to face her. i would probably feel very uneasy talking to her becos i wasn't prepared to run into familiar faces. bad thing is... she didn't recognise me!!! i guess i really look very different now.

tried out the new clipper i bought. from the front, i look good but it's so difficult to trim the back, since i can't see behind. i guess it probably look horrible. hahaha... but doesn't matter, as i said, i dun mind look ugly, but i mind look like a cancer patient, esp now when i can still live a normal life. i wish to be seen as a normal person.

hospitalise II

i made the right decision in bringing in my mp3 player and laptop. without these, my stay in the hospital would hv me killed by boredom. the sleep was quite bad, but slightly better than i expected (i'm always prepared for the worst).

woke up at 4am in the morning, i listened to my mp3 player and did some stretching/static exercises on the bed. 5am i went to take a shower, wash up. now i'm feeling so fresh.

the room opposite mine was packed with pple, somebody is leaving this world. i was wondering did the same thing happened to this vacant bed that i'm resting on. it's so sad that someone is leaving the world. be it the one lying on bed or those crowding around. the farewell is forever. all that's left are memory. suddenly thought of a song: Elegy

When I am laid

I'm laid in the earth

May my wrongs create no sorrow

No sorrow in your heart

Remember me, remember me

Don't forget my face

Remember me

Don't forget my face

i dun care, if i died and there's a wake, i want this song to be played every few hour, somebody please do it. hahaha... it's so sad if somebody passed away and nobody remember him. then what's his value? this guy must be a total failure. it doesn't matter if pple slowly forget about me (better still, don't grieve too long over my departure), but i hope the first few days i departed, spend a little bit of time think of the days we spent together. they formed up my life story.

YEAH!!!! the doctor came, he told me i can discharge early if i want (9am or 10am). of course i want!!! i dun think the lunch here would be better. ;)

my final countdown: 3 hours

hospitalise

although this wk is my break week, but i'm now in hospital. i'm spending a night in this 6-men dormitory, surrounded by 5 old men. (my bed at the centre).

nothing serious. becos i need to be hospitalise in order to claim full scale from my insurance, so i warded myself in. sound stupid right? yes. I dun like the idea too. but for the sake of money, especially at this critical time, i hv to bow before reality.

i received a shocking email. khoo teck phuat hospital engaged us for the project and sent us their requirement specifications. now i need to worry about how my replacement going to cope. i foresee that the IT work in my company will turn out a mess under my KAY KIANG boss leadership. previously we quarreled over some conditions and today the requirement specifications proved that he is totally wrong. i dun care, i told my replacement to clear the shit with my boss. but it's a matter of time only, the problem will come back to me.

i regretted. i really should hv requested at least a B1 ward. it's so warm here. how am i going to sleep tonight? i thought the hospital suppose to be well-ventilated? for the sake of money, endure.... endure....

Count down to discharge: 17 hours...