Recovery Report VII

yesterday, i went back to SGH ENT clinic for my first ENT post treatment review. i suddenly recalled what Prof. B. said to me during the last visit. "i need to refer you to national cancer centre. there's nothing i can do for you now. i'll see u again 6 months from now. in the mean time, i wish u all the best"

it's been 7 months since the day i know that i'm one of the specially selected person to fight the battle. 7 months... how time flies... i hv no prejudice against anybody in ENT, but i really hate the feeling of going back. perhaps i had been hit too hard during the previous visit. i received a piece of shit from ENT, and it had changed my life forever.

i waited 2 hours for the consultation. Prof. B said that my right ear is infected, which explained why i was feeling giddy the past 2 weeks, and could possibly be the reason why i get persistent ringing in the ear. he prescribed some ear lotion to me and scheduled an audio test for me at my next visit.

the next thing he did was to insert a scope into my nose and took some pictures. then he was very pleased to tell me that visually, my tumours (actually there were 2, one big one small) are gone. it was funny. i used the words "he was very pleased", becos he appeared to be happier than me at that point of time.

i dun deny that before the scope, the idea that i may not be healing that well bothered me a little. but this is only 2 months from my treatment. it does not mean that i'm recovered. in fact it does not even imply that cancer cells no longer exist in my nose. it's only "visually cleared".

i'm not being negative or pessimistic, but after all these while, i'd learned one thing. focus on the journey, not the destination.

so, let's forget about the destination. some good things along the journey i would like to share. this week, i had great improvement in my sense of taste. last friday, i met up my friends for dinner and the set dinner came with a complimentary cup of coffee. once a coffee lover, i parted coffee for 7 months. the taste of coffee reminded me that life is suppose to be full of fragrance. though alot of things have changed and they can never be reverted, alot of things still remain the same, until the day i die.

other than coffee, the other thing that i tried was curry. coffee and curry were the 2 things i missed the most during these 7 months. i dunno how to express the joy when i found out that curry is "acceptable" by my taste bud (and most importantly, it taste like the old curry i used to know). at that moment, i really feel like crying, it seems like everything has gone back to normal...