D-1

tomorrow.

i had quite a peaceful week especially during the day time. past few nights been having some nightmares. not directly related to my illness. perhaps subconsciously i'm quite fearful of what's going to happen tomorrow, just that i didn't realise it.

today, i jovially bid farewell to all my colleagues. it's my official last day of work. tomorrow i'll be getting a straight 2 months hospitalisation leave from the doctor, then post it back to office. i can feel how much my colleagues want me to stay. it's been almost 5 years i worked in the company. throughout the 5 years, i'd never utilise a single day of medical leave. never expect the first hit would be so hard.

my wife insists going with me tomorrow. actually i think it's not necessary. and i think i'll feel better if she doesn't come with me. ncc is not a place pple will like to visit. frankly speaking, whenever i was there waiting, i feel quite gloomy. whenever i was unhappy, i prefer to be alone.

tomorrow my day will start early. i'm leaving my hse at 0645. my blood test is 0730. this blood test is the same as those i did before chemo. it's actually meant for thursday chemo. 0915 i'll be seeing Dr. DL, he'll tell me whether I'm good to go for my phase 2 chemo on thursday. 1045 i'll be starting my very first radiotherapy.

i guess the first few days should be alright for me and i'm hoping that the side effects will only come in after 2 wks (which i think is a bit difficult). oh... btw, i didn't hit my target. my weight is recorded to be 73.9kg as of this afternoon. since radio is going to start, i'm stopping my junk-food eating w.e.f tmr.