Week 14

yesterday, i went for my last run, the Mt. Faber Run, though i walked most of the route. i finished it in 1hr 45min and i didn't come back last. i could do better than this, but that's not the point. i should do better in my treatment. just like what my doctor said, save the energy to fight the fatigue.

after the run, i felt horrible. it has got nothing to do with the run, becos it's caused by my taste bud. i lost the ability to appreciate sweetness. 我失去了我生命中的“苦中一点甜”. can u imagine a life without sweetness? op top of that, my nausea feeling is also getting worse. becos everything became so bland, i lost my appetite. i ended up drinking a bit of soup for dinner last night. hungry at night, but i didn't eat anything after that.

this morning, the feeling was just as strong. the jam on my bread taste like hair styling gel. i forced myself to accept the fact that for the next 1.5 months, there'll be no sweetness in my life.

i started to experience dry throat, i could feel that something is accumulating on my inner tongue (like a layer of substance, getting thicker and thicker). my salivary gland is greatly affected and i now have very little saliva in the mouth. drinking water helps only the first few minutes, after that the mouth turned dry.

i didn't expect all these effects to come in so soon. it means that my misery is going to start very soon (actually it has already started) and last very long. i'm feeling very lousy. i dun feel like talking. i feel like sleeping through my day and night so that i can forget about my body condition.

leave me alone.