piece of cake

D+3.

i wasn't feeling so well early in the morning. the nausea feeling hit at about 0900. and it got more serious. dun wanna take chance, i popped in the drugs issued to me. be a good boy, dun be a hero. i dun wan to perform merlion show during the radio session. my runny nose was completely gone, but occasionally i still sneeze. i was wondering if they locked me to the mask, will i still be able to sneeze? my sneezes are usually strong and powerful, will i break the lock if i sneezed during the treatment?

after i popped in the drugs, i got a little bit feverish, became tired and weak. it could be due to the drugs, or it could be just some new side effects followed by the chemo.

compared to the past 2 days, today is really a piece of cake. no chemo, no blood test, no seeing doctor. i didn't even need to bring my bag (which i carry my umbrella, my thermal flask, a book to read etc a folder which consists of all documents chemo, radio, dental, appointment cards, invoices for insurance claims etc etc.

i brought only my appointment card, my wife carried my umbrella. that's all.

this time round, i paid attention to the music playing the radiation room. it's meant for the patient, becos it kept repeating the same CD over and over again. i recognised and remember a few of the songs:

NIKITA,

SORRY SEEMS TO BE THE HARDEST WORD

CANDLE IN THE WIND

DON'T LET THE SUN GOES DOWN ON ME

SACRIFICE

that's about 20 minutes right? i recalled i heard nikita and don't let the sun goes down on me during the first two sessions. so i'm pretty sure they didn't change the music.

i almost managed to finish writing the heart sutra twice. if u ask me if i believe in the heart sutra will bring peace and blessing to me, the answer is definitely no. i just need some distraction from the mask. but frankly speaking, if the sutra indeed possess some kind of magic power, i wish that whoever lying on the platform going through the same shit as me will be blessed with peace by the so many repetitions of the sutra i wrote on it...

...心无罣碍 无罣碍故 无有恐怖 远离颠倒梦想...