my throat got worsen. it was more painful than last week. the dryness can be feel even without swallowing the saliva. i dun feel like talking anymore. i wish i dun hv to talk to anybody, not even to my wife. some times i feel like telling her to shut up though she's just trying to find topics to cheer me up.
my stamina got worse. i now walk slower than my wife. i shoke her hand off this morning becos i felt that she was walking too fast. i had problem climbing a flight of 20 steps.
i started to get ringing in the ears. it seems to get worse over time. the ringing sometimes got so irritating i will just cover my ears as if the noise came from outside not from inside. the doctor said that this is something he can't help. can only hope that it'll slowly subside after the treatment (it may not subside).
my nose keeps bleeding for the past few days. in my nose i got plenty of blood clot which badly obstruct my breathing. whenever i try to clear the clot, it'll bleed again until new clot is formed.
i lost another kg this week. now i need to stuff all my belongings in the pocket to measure 67kg. doctors were very unhappy about my weight but there's nothing much i can do. i'd oredi tried my very best to eat. based on my current condition, i think i'm oredi eating beyond my capability.
physically i'm still coping quite well. psychologically i feel like shit. real shit. i forget abt giving up. not becos i dun feel like giving up, but i should hv give up in the beginning. now that i'd come to this stage, there's no turning back. LL must finish it.
Despite the depressing situation, your last para made me smile. Don't even think about giving up, for giving up is never an option. A chance to live is what others have hoped for but could not get, so treasure this chance you are given, even if the price is high.
ReplyDelete20+ days to go... Make the countdown chart you taught me during our NS days for ORD. Strike off day by day and you will realize the shit finally is over...
ReplyDeleteWW,
ReplyDeleteYes, there's no turning back. So, hang on..its ending soon! Have marked down in my mobile phone calendar and counting down for you, praying for you..soon..soon, ww..soon.
JJ
I personally had encountered many miracles in life. I hate to talk about religion to patients because I dont like them to doubt my testmonies and I also dont want them to thought that my words are just to console.
ReplyDeleteThis time is different because you are always in my prayer. You are somebody I met once. You are remembered in my heart. You are someone that I am concern with.
I am not sure are you a Christian or not. I knew that many plp dislike the way they approach. I just wish that you can give Christ a chance.
In whatever situation you are, it is about your mind that come with the first attack when a person is weak but still you are in control with it.
I knew that I am not in a position to say anything like this but I just want to tell you, in whatever situation you are : CHRIST is with YOU.
There is no reason for anything that had happened but I believe CHRIST is with YOU.
Can I add on to request you to rub the holy oil around your body. Expect and believe in whatever situation JESUS stays with you and he loves YOU and knowing that as Chirst is so are you into this world +
We love you and let your mind in peace becaue you are in control with it. :)